Geeks and Gamers of the world UNITE!

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Episode 19 or Yet Another Awards Show!!

I'm back!!!

Wow it's been awhile!  Sooooo much gaming since April.  Fallout New Vegas and Dragon Age 2 add-ons, ANOTHER FREAKIN' CALL OF DOODY!  That's right!  I said it!  I swear I am done with these first person military shooters.  But there were also three AMAZING titles dropped that make up my finalists for GAME OF THE YEAR!!!!  It's that time again!!  The Second Annual

Irrelevant Gaming Awards

Shall we get to it?  Yeah buddy!

Best Add-On/DLC
Runner up: Fallout New Vegas - Old World Blues
Winner: Dragon Age 2 - Mark of the Assassin

Best Collectors Edition
Winner: Gears of War 3 - Epic Edition

Best Multi-Player
Runner up: Portal 2
Winner: Gears of War 3

Best Graphics
Runner up: Gears of War 3
Winner: LA Noire

Most Memorable Moment
Runner up: Portal 2 - Lunacy(Spaaaaaaaaace!!)
Winner: Gears of War 3 - Dom's Fate

Best Story
Runner up: Dragon Age 2
Winner: Batman: Arkham City

Most Anticipated Game of 2012
Runner up: Bioshock Infinite
Winner: Mass Effect 3 - Note: ME3 won this last year too!

Best Xbox Live Arcade Title
Runner up: Trenched
Winner: A World of Keflings

Best Sports Title
Winner: MLB 11 The Show

Best Kinect Title
Winner: Kinect Sports Season 2

Best Voice Performance
Runner up: Ellen McLain (Portal 2)
Winner: Mark Hammil (Batman: Arkham City)

Best Character
Runner up: Cole Phelps (LA Noire)
Winner: The Joker (Batman: Arkham City)

Runner up: TIE!!  Portal 2 & Batman: Arkham City

That can only mean...drumroll please...


And what a year of gaming it has been!  2012 looks pretty grand with Max Payne 3, Kingdoms of Amalur, Bioshock Infinite and of course Mass Effect 3 on the horizon all in Quarter One.  I can promise you I will be vigilant and post much more frequently.  Keep it tuned here for more gaming awesomeness!  The Captain is BACK!

Next Time: The Relevant Wife is back with a discussion of Game Ratings!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Episode 18 or The Cake May Be A Lie, But The Cube Is Forever!

The take-over has past, but I'm sure that's not the last we'll hear from the Relevant Wife!  Welcome to April!  Tons going on in the next month.!  And with the Nintendo 3DS launch behind us, we can now look forward to some AAA titles coming later this year, as well as the mega-system update in May.  Let's get some news!

NEWS:  DUKE NUKEM DELAYED...AGAIN.  Goddammit!  That's all I have to say about that.  I'm just tired of all the delays.  At least they had a sense of humor about the whole thing.  Watching Gearbox President Randy Pitchford freak out was very funny.  Speaking of funny, if you haven't checked out the Aperture Investment videos, open a new tab and check them out NOW!  These ads for PORTAL 2 look so good I agree with Tim Buckley of cad-comic.com when I say "Shut up and take my money!!"  Keep reading for a full review of PORTAL 2.


I was 3rd in line to get one of these bad boys, and I'm glad I did!  This little gaming device has just drawn a line in the sand when it comes to portable gaming.  Not only does it offer 3d graphics without the need for glasses, but offers much, MUCH improved graphics that rival the Wii. Still not stellar graphics, but we are talking portable here.  The 3DS breaths some much needed life into Nintendo's DS line, which seemed to stagnate with really crappy 3rd party games from junk studios like 505, UFO and ZOO studios.  It's the same problem on the Wii.  All these studios who cannot make a good game to save their lives, over populating the shelves with games not worthy enough to use as toilet paper.  And because of this, people miss great games like MADWORD and The CONDUIT.  Shenanigans I say!!

Back on topic...With some great AAA titles like SUPER STREET FIGHTER IV and NINTENDOGS, they slipped a few surprise titles in there like STEEL DIVER, which to my shock was in production for over 5 years!!  I bought both SSF IV and STEEL DIVER and I love them both!  I'll  post reviews for both next time.

The software is somewhat restricted at the moment, as there is not internet browser, shops or much of anything at the moment.  Fret not, however as they are coming, along with Netflix in May via a system update.  The most awesome thing it can do at the moment is the 3D augmented reality games that are included with the system in the form of 6 cards.  One really can't explain this as it must be seen to fully appreciate it.  Go check the 3DS out at a friends place or at a demo station near you.  Then get the credit card out!


"Just when I thought I was out...they pull me back in!"  That's the segue from PORTAL to PORTAL 2.  You again play as Chell, the heroine from the first game.  After killing the sadistic GLaDOS and escaping Aperture Labs, an injured Chell collapses on the surface.  The Ratman(if you haven't played the first game, you have no clue.) finds Chell and with no idea how to treat her injuries, brings her back to Aperture Labs, and places her in a chamber to heal.  After 50 days, she is reawakened for analysis, but put back to sleep.  After ???? days, she is woken up by Wheatly, an AI, but much nicer than GLaDOS.  And thus begins your journey to escape the ruins of Aperture once again.  Over the course of the single player campaign, you will come face to face with GLaDOS again, do more tests, learn the Aperture Science story, see GLaDOS attached to a potato, and new amazing Aperture products!

If you have played this game before, you know exactly how to play.  The controls are easy to master, and the puzzles are amazing!  The graphics are beautiful as you go through ruined test chambers, into the bowels of forgotten Aperture experiments, into new test chambers designed to kill you!

PROS: The addition of co-op is very nice!  The feel of the original game is still there, but it's the right amount of different.  Quite possibly the funniest game I've ever played...right up there with BULLETSTORM.

CONS:  Even though I'm not done with the single player story yet, I see no cake.  But seriously, the single player could be a bit longer...or the price a bit lower.

GRADE: 9.5


Thursday, March 31, 2011

Episode 17 or The Relevant Wife Strikes Back

Do not adjust your eyeballs and have no fears. Just relax and the take over will be through before you know it! Don't worry, I'll be gentle.

This was good timing for my take over. There's actually been quite a bit of intrigue around women gamers in the past few weeks. Have you seen this guy and BioWare's response to him? (http://social.bioware.com/forum/1/topic/304/index/6661775&lf=8) Kudos to BioWare! I'm not sure if I can be a bigger fan. It was a great point of relationships being for everyone. I really can't muster up any empathy for the guy. Let's face it the 'straight male gamer' is not going away and there will always be plenty of material out there for you. Japanese game makers will have that covered for you for a loooooooong time. 

Then there was the article in the latest Official Xbox Magazine called "Inclusive Games with Exclusive Marketing." The author does give credit to games for having more realistic female leads. Though I was a bit baffled that she had such a hard time figuring out if she could play as a female Hawke(Dragon Age 2). They were pretty up front about that and even had Lady Hawke pictures at one of the conventions. I think one of the best things BioWare games do for gender differences is have different things show up when you play as a female. My personal favorite is the Batarian mistaking FemShep for a stripper right before you go after Archangel. That's right FemShep has bigger balls than you'll ever have! And if you don't believe me... I'm up here.

But I have mixed feelings about wanting or feeling the need for more females included in marketing. Maybe, I'm just not sensitive to it anymore. In all honesty, I'm pretty used to playing with the boys. (Did my husband ever mentioned I have a Master's degree in Structural Engineering? That's right, he got the whole package and then some!) So, I get pretty tired of being pegged as someone to be marketed to or being specifically targeted. 

There's really no magic trick to getting me interested in buying a game. Make a good product, in this case, an engaging story, superb characters, and good controls and I'm there. Oh you can be sure I'll always play as female, that's just my particular preference. 

But the ultimate question asked by the article, would I be less or more likely to buy a game simply because it had a female on the cover? No, probably not. In fact, we just went through our games and we only have one with a female on the cover. Rock Band. I do like the new remake of Lara Croft they're doing. While she was one of the first iconic female game characters, she was always a bit too perfect and guy-fantasy-come-to-life. But I will be more interested to see how the game and story play.

So keep the good games coming. Because that's what we'll buy. Good games and good stories that pull us in. We won't buy just because you put a female on the front. You have to have substance behind it!

Now on to the review! Thanks to the excellent timing of my take over, I get to do a review of the latest addition to the BioWare epic Mass Effect 2! That's right the new DLC that just dropped this week: Arrival!

Warning: Potential Spoilers Ahead!

Commander Shepard! Commander Shepard! Save the galaxy!

That's right there's another poor soul that needs Commander Shepard's help. Not that anyone is going to help Shepard this time. Shepard has to go this one alone and I tell you what, I missed my buddies occasionally. Sneaking into the prison was neat and now I have an achievement The Irrelevant Gamer doesn't have yet. Yep, got that one all on my own. Full disclosure, it was on my second play through. I have two characters I'm bringing into Mass Effect 3 (one romance for Garrus and one for Thane, sorry Kaiden, you were too much of a pussy). 

So after the sneaky, sneaky is over then you go find out if this scientist you went to pick up is telling the truth about the Reapers and the coming invasion. It quickly hits the fan and now Shepard has to fight for her life again. Plenty of 'awe hell' moments and a nail biter at the end as you try to out run an asteroid while flipping off Harbinger. 

It's a great side quest for ME2. But all it did now is whet my appetite for more ME! Really, I've decided that waiting for ME3 is like walking around horny all day and not being able to do anything about it.

Pros: More Mass Effect anyone? Hell yes!

Cons: Ummmm, does anyone want to talk to me?? I just blew up a whole system for crying out loud! Destroyed a relay... Joker? Garrus? Thane? Anyone? Buller?

Final verdict: The Relevant Wife's Seal of Approval

Next time: The Irrelevant Game's take on Nintendo's 3DS

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Episode 16 or Why Dragon Age 2 Is Better Than Whatever You Are Playing!

I think I need to change my pants...

Wow, it's been awhile!  Sorry for the delay folks.  Some serious gaming has gone down since last I posted!  Finally finished a single playthrough of FALLOUT: NEW VEGAS.  I also discovered just how awesome Anarchy Mode in Bulletstorm is(P.S. It's Awesome!!).  Thanks to Xbox Live's House Party, I now have a game to scratch that Diablo itch!  It's called Torchlight, and more will be said about this gem in our Review section!  I also tamed the city of Kirkwall in Dragon Age 2.  This game will also be reviewed this episode.  Oh, and I bet you noticed that pic up top.  That's NOT an ad for MASS EFFECT 3.  It's for the new ME2 dlc: The Arrival!  Not much is known at this point other than it's the last dlc for ME2 and will bridge the Game of the Year and ME3.  Let's get to some news, shall we?

  That right there should make you squee with joy!  Gearbox software, the company who bought the rights to the-now-defunct 3D Realms franchise, and creators of the amazing BORDERLANDS game has announced the release date of the return of everybody's favorite macho man: Duke Nukem!(Sorry Randy Savage.  Have a slim jim.)  The date that Hell freezes over: May 3rd!  Not too much longer.  Of course those who purchased new copies of the Borderlands Game of the Year Edition, and/or pre-ordered DNF, get early access to the demo!  Plus, there is THIS:
I will be giving you my hands-on preview once the early demo drops!  Movin' on!


BioWare has done it again!!  Seriously, is there no end to this company's awesomeness?  I thought not!  I absolutely loved DA:O.  Easily in my top 10 games of all time!  But then DA2 rolls in like it owns the place and starts to awesome!  From the stylized loading screen and epic soundtrack from Inon Zur, to the beautiful new graphics and new combat system.  I played through the campaign as a mage.  Those who don't know me, I hate mage classes!  HATE THEM!  I hate being outside the fight.  I always gravitate to the warrior or dual-wield rogue.  Why the change of heart?  I saw the power the mage class held in the demo.  We're talking throwing the powers of the Maker Himself at darkspawn!  Plus, I wanted to do that epic-bloodmage-hells-arms-rips-Arishok-in-half spell as featured in the trailer.  Alas, that power is nowhere to be found(at least by me).  But I still enjoyed the class and would recommend everyone try it!  In fact, there is not much about this game I didn't like!  The story was fantastic, as was the idea of a framed narrative.  The last game I played that spanned 10 years was Fable 2.  Going from refugee to the Champion of Kirkwall was a fun storyline that took me about 40-45 hours to play through.  I missed a lot of quests, loot and achievements!  I've already started on a second playthrough as a warrior to get a different ending.  I also used a different import to change the game up a bit! There is another awesome point for this game!  You can import your DA:O save or choose from one of three pre-loaded arcs!  Unlike Mass Effect 2(for 360), if you don't want to import, you actually get a choice!!  I assume this will also go into ME3.

DA2 is loaded with humor and pop culture references!  Name me another game that references Sir Mix-A-Lot, South Park and Joss Whedon!  Oh yes!  Plus there is all of the innuendos dropped by the pirate queen Isabella.  In fact, the cast of the game is like people you knew in high school!  There's the troubled loner(Anders), the jock(Aveline), the mousy girl(Merril), the slutty girl(Isabella), the emo(Fenris), the pious(Sebastian), and then there is Varric the Storyteller.  This dwarf is the source of the whole experience!  The tale he weaves will also inevitably play into DA3, which in my opinion will bring back The Warden.  Of course, BioWare does have a habit of sending it's hero's away and never bringing them back(Darth Revan from Knights of the Old Republic).

PROS: The new combat system is a joy to use, and the improved graphics are easy on the eyes, as is Isabella!  Now that Hawke has a voice, the immersion is much greater.  Great story and characters!

CONS: A bit slow starting, but picks up towards the end of Act 1.  No Giant-Arms-Rips-Guy-In-Half spell. That's false advertising...unless I just haven't found it...in that case SOMEBODY TELL ME WHERE IT IS!!

GRADE: 9.5

DA2 Gets the Admiral Ackbar Award!


It's no secret that Diablo is one of my all time fave PC games.  Hell, I loved it on the original Playstation!  The ultimate dungeon crawler will always have a special place in my heart.  That's why Torchlight is so awesome!  It IS Diablo!  Everything you loved about the original game are there...EVERYTHING!!  From the scrolls of identify to socketed armor to randomly generated levels!  Torchlight was developed for Xbox Live Arcade by the makers of Diablo(duh) and Fate.  Is it any wonder this game rocks?  It even has the same basic classes as Diablo!  But Torchlight gives us a bit more that the original PC game.  The first and most noticable is the addition of a pet!  As a fan of the Fable and Dragon Age games, I love having my faithful dog by my side!  The addition of a pet(and the ability to send it to town to sell your stuff while you keep exploring) is epic!

PROS: It's freakin' Diablo in a new skin!

CONS: No co-op!  Feels like a missed opportunity.

GRADE: 9.0

NEXT TIME: The Relevant Wife Takes Over!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Episode 15 or Reinventing the Wheel

This episode will probably be a bit shorter than others due to the fact that I want to stop writing this and get back to Bulletstorm!  As I said last time: Sweet merciful potted plants!!  THIS GAME IS OUTSTANDING!

It's simply a case of Epic Games, and People Can Fly reinventing the FPS.  Take everything you like in those military shooters, inject it with steroids, give it cocaine and the juvinille humor of a middle schooler with the intellect of a Harvard grad and you get a good game.  Bulletstorm is better than that!  It's smart, funny and way over the top!  An 8+ hour campaign plus some epic multiplayer action?  Yes please!  If you like shooters, you NEED this game!

REVIEW: Bulletstorm

PROS: The addition of the whip and the boot adds so much to a great shooter!  Over the top kills that reward you with points to spend on weapons and upgrades!  Beautiful graphics and intuitive controls!

CONS: Its easy to lose an enemy especially up close.

GRADE: 9.5 and

That's right!  The SuperSeal!


Got my hands on the Dragon Age 2 demo today.  I almost cannot contain the pure awesomeness coming from these two games!  DA2 upgrades EVERYTHING!  Hawke speaks, the graphics look spectacular, the combat flows better...I cannot think of a thing in the demo I didn't like!  It was spectacular!  But don't take my word for it...download it yourself and see!  I predict Bioware has another hit on their hands!

And now The Relevant Wife's Tips to a Solid Marriage: Buy 2 Xboxs and never question your wife's reading material!

Next Time: Bulletstorm's Multiplayer in action!!

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Law and Order Spectres (Mass Effect)

A silly idea + a lazy Saturday = some good ol' fashioned Awesomeness! Enjoy!

P.S. We made this!!!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Episode 14 or Why Nutshot + Headshot = True Love

Warning: This entry contains creative language that may make no sense. 

Sweet merciful potted plants!  I have just played the Bulletstorm demo!  I am now in pure awe of the creative and insane geniuses at Epic Games and People Can Fly.  These certified crazy people have come up with the most creative, imaginative and straight up fraked up game I have ever seen!  The game is beautiful!  The environments are lush and feel real.  Especially when you kick someone into the exposed re-bar for a VooDoo skillshot.   The controls, which seem a bit much at first, begin to feel perfect once you start killing.

The demo offers 3 different guns.  The carbine(an uber assault rifle), the Screamer(a pistol that you can charge up and unleash flaming doom upon several enemies!), and the Flailgun(a weapon that shoots two grenades attached by a chain!).

Make no mistake, this is pure chaos in game form!  Bullets and bodies flying everywhere.  And I haven't mentioned the whip yet!  This handy little device lets you wrangle a foe from a distance and fling him your way for some sweet sweet lead.  Bam.  You can also fling several enemies into the air at once, opening up the Trap-Shoot Skillshot.  Of course, you could always show 'em the underside of your awesome boot!  With so many ways to kill in this game, There is no excuse!  Download this demo RIGHT NOW!  Then go Pre-order the game!  Enjoy!
This demo contains awesome language like: 'dick-tits' and 'metric fuck-ton'.  That's how awesome it is!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Episode 13 or Why I Love DLC

Red Dead Redemption's Undead Nightmare DLC

Hey there fellow Gamers!  Today I would like to talk to you about the bane of some gamers existence, and why I, The Irrelevant Gamer, loves Downloadable Content!  First, I think we should do some news!

NEWS: Forgot to pre-order the BioWare Signature Edition of Dragon Age 2?  Fret not!  While you may have missed out on some great exclusives, BioWare is handing out some great stuff to anyone who pre-orders before March 8th including a sweet sword and shield to use in game, as well as a creepy new store!  If you are like me and pre-ordered it long ago, you will get all this too!  BioWare has also announced that there will be a Mabari war hound included!

  Speaking of pre-orders, go to your local game retailer and get Bulletstorm...NOW!  If you pre-order this title(Due out 2.22), you get extra armor, a sweet new gun, and oh yeah, GEARS OF WAR 3 BETA ACCESS!!  'Nuff said!

Borderland's Secret Armory of General Knoxx DLC

So you have beaten your favorite game.  Sad Panda!  No more awesomeness for you!  DLC to the rescue!  These mini expansions have become commonplace in video games these days.  Too common say some gamers.  They are not wrong.  Some developers and publishers seem to be releasing half-assed games and relying on DLC to complete the story!  This is wrong!  DLC should compliment games!  Take Fallout 3 for example.  100+ hours, an awesome main quest, great combat...a really good game made better with DLC.  How?  Bethesda released four DLC packs.  Each had new areas, weapons and enemies!  Dragon Age, with it's 70+ hour quest had like 5 DLC packs AND a full expansion!  Liliana's Song let you step into the shoes of the Bard/Rogue while the DarkSpawn Chronicles gave a what-if scenario. These are examples of good DLC.  SplinterCell: Conviction is an example of bad DLC.  A super short game that just tacked on maps to try and expand on a premise that I was done with after beating the game.

Then, there are PERFECT DLC's.  The Sacrifice from Left 4 Dead 1&2.  That's right...it worked for both!  It brought back the cast of the first game for one more campaign.  Another perfect example is Undead Nightmare from Red Dead Redemption.  Sure, it was kinda weird putting zombies in the old west, but it was really REALY fun!  And then there is the Lair of the Shadow Broker DLC from Mass Effect 2.

This awesome piece of DLC, while like all the other great DLCs you don't need it to enjoy the game, actually takes it's origins from the Mass Effect Redemption comic book!  It tells the tale of the hunt for Shepard's body.  Following Dr. Liara T'soni, this comic explains why she is so obsessed over hunting the Shadow Broker as seen in ME2.  If you romanced Liara in ME1, you actually get to rekindle that romance!  With a pretty epic boss fight, Lair of the Shadow Broker leads my list of favorite DLC's.  I love DLC.  So much so, I've decided to drop my new "This is Awesome" seal on some epic DLC.  Here's my list of recipients:

ALAN WAKE - The Writer
RED DEAD REDEMPTION - Undead Nightmare
BORDERLANDS - Zombie Island of Dr. Ned
FALLOUT 3 - Broken Steel
MASS EFFECT 2 - Lair of the Shadow Broker

And then I kick something.

NEXT TIME: The Relevant Wife reviews EPIC MICKEY!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Episode 12 or Why This Hawke Will Fly!

FemHawke Vs. ManHawke...Let the battle begin!

Garret Hawke.  Marian Hawke.  These are the names given to your character in BioWare's fantasy epic Dragon Age II.  Above is what they look like.  Don't like them?  Change it!  Because it's a BioWare game, it's all up to you!  Personally, This may be the very first time in which I DON'T change from the default!  I really like the look of Garret.  Hell, I even like the name!  Usually I go for an image that kinda looks like me(except in DA:O where I chose a dwarf noble with a pretty epic beard and facial tats.  Best choice!).  I am so impressed by the design of this character, more so than even Commander Shepard, who I edited to look kinda like me.  The whole game has been rebuilt from the ground up giving it a new look and feel, and yet you will know it is Dragon Age right away.  BioWare staff have been quoted as saying the new DA2 will be: "...bloodier and sexier..."  Not sure exactly what that means, but there is no part of that I didn't like!  On the post below, you can see the extended cinematic trailer.

There will be blood...

"...When you press a button, something epic will happen." - BioWare staff describing the new combat system.  Are you salivating yet?  I sure am!  Especially if we can do that awesome glowy-demon arms-come-out-of-nowhere-and-rips-guy-in-half move!  Plus, there is the distinct possibility of wielding the staff-sword shown in the trailer, all your blood magic and slicing and dicing in one convenient and easy to carry package!  Also make julian fries!

O hai Flemeth!  I wuz in yor haus stealin' yor grimoir!

Q. Will my actions in Dragon Age: Origins make a difference?
A. This is a BioWare game after all!  It wouldn't suprise me too much if what you did in Mass Effect 2 had an impact!  It won't, but that would be awesome.  Maybe they will have another cross-over armor like the Blood Dragon...

You will be able to import your game save right into DA2.  While this story is seperate from DA:O, your actions in the first game will directly impact the world.  Did you kill Flemeth?  What about the Ashes?  Did your Warden survive?  Alistair?  Loghain?  All of this will be weighed in all before you start on your 10 year journey to become the Champion of Kirkwall!  We will cover this game more as we get closer to the launch date in March!


This is the first great title for the Microsoft Kinect.  In fact, it blows Wii sports out of the water!  No more worrying about lobbing a controller at the TV.  YOU are the controller!  With six different sports and a more responsive control scheme, Kinect Sports works on every level!  It gets the blood pumping ad the heart rate up!  Play with up to 4 people in party mode or by yourself to become Kinect Sports Champion!

PROS: Easy to play and consistently fun!  High replay value!

Cons: Too many menus.  An option to get rid of the tutorials would be nice.

GRADE: 8.5 and...
Awesomeness Approved!

That's all for this episode!  

NEXT TIME: Games they SHOULD make for Kinect!

Dragon Age 2 Trailer - Destiny Extended

Meet Garret Hawke...