Gritty new L.A. Noire trailer

Episode 14 or Why Nutshot + Headshot = True Love

Warning: This entry contains creative language that may make no sense. 

Sweet merciful potted plants!  I have just played the Bulletstorm demo!  I am now in pure awe of the creative and insane geniuses at Epic Games and People Can Fly.  These certified crazy people have come up with the most creative, imaginative and straight up fraked up game I have ever seen!  The game is beautiful!  The environments are lush and feel real.  Especially when you kick someone into the exposed re-bar for a VooDoo skillshot.   The controls, which seem a bit much at first, begin to feel perfect once you start killing.

The demo offers 3 different guns.  The carbine(an uber assault rifle), the Screamer(a pistol that you can charge up and unleash flaming doom upon several enemies!), and the Flailgun(a weapon that shoots two grenades attached by a chain!).

Make no mistake, this is pure chaos in game form!  Bullets and bodies flying everywhere.  And I haven't mentioned the whip yet!  This handy little device lets you wrangle a foe from a distance and fling him your way for some sweet sweet lead.  Bam.  You can also fling several enemies into the air at once, opening up the Trap-Shoot Skillshot.  Of course, you could always show 'em the underside of your awesome boot!  With so many ways to kill in this game, There is no excuse!  Download this demo RIGHT NOW!  Then go Pre-order the game!  Enjoy!

This demo contains awesome language like: 'dick-tits' and 'metric fuck-ton'.  That's how awesome it is!

Episode 13 or Why I Love DLC

Red Dead Redemption's Undead Nightmare DLC

Hey there fellow Gamers!  Today I would like to talk to you about the bane of some gamers existence, and why I, The Irrelevant Gamer, loves Downloadable Content!  First, I think we should do some news!

NEWS: Forgot to pre-order the BioWare Signature Edition of Dragon Age 2?  Fret not!  While you may have missed out on some great exclusives, BioWare is handing out some great stuff to anyone who pre-orders before March 8th including a sweet sword and shield to use in game, as well as a creepy new store!  If you are like me and pre-ordered it long ago, you will get all this too!  BioWare has also announced that there will be a Mabari war hound included!
 

  Speaking of pre-orders, go to your local game retailer and get Bulletstorm...NOW!  If you pre-order this title(Due out 2.22), you get extra armor, a sweet new gun, and oh yeah, GEARS OF WAR 3 BETA ACCESS!!  'Nuff said!

Borderland's Secret Armory of General Knoxx DLC

So you have beaten your favorite game.  Sad Panda!  No more awesomeness for you!  DLC to the rescue!  These mini expansions have become commonplace in video games these days.  Too common say some gamers.  They are not wrong.  Some developers and publishers seem to be releasing half-assed games and relying on DLC to complete the story!  This is wrong!  DLC should compliment games!  Take Fallout 3 for example.  100+ hours, an awesome main quest, great combat...a really good game made better with DLC.  How?  Bethesda released four DLC packs.  Each had new areas, weapons and enemies!  Dragon Age, with it's 70+ hour quest had like 5 DLC packs AND a full expansion!  Liliana's Song let you step into the shoes of the Bard/Rogue while the DarkSpawn Chronicles gave a what-if scenario. These are examples of good DLC.  SplinterCell: Conviction is an example of bad DLC.  A super short game that just tacked on maps to try and expand on a premise that I was done with after beating the game.

Then, there are PERFECT DLC's.  The Sacrifice from Left 4 Dead 1&2.  That's right...it worked for both!  It brought back the cast of the first game for one more campaign.  Another perfect example is Undead Nightmare from Red Dead Redemption.  Sure, it was kinda weird putting zombies in the old west, but it was really REALY fun!  And then there is the Lair of the Shadow Broker DLC from Mass Effect 2.

This awesome piece of DLC, while like all the other great DLCs you don't need it to enjoy the game, actually takes it's origins from the Mass Effect Redemption comic book!  It tells the tale of the hunt for Shepard's body.  Following Dr. Liara T'soni, this comic explains why she is so obsessed over hunting the Shadow Broker as seen in ME2.  If you romanced Liara in ME1, you actually get to rekindle that romance!  With a pretty epic boss fight, Lair of the Shadow Broker leads my list of favorite DLC's.  I love DLC.  So much so, I've decided to drop my new "This is Awesome" seal on some epic DLC.  Here's my list of recipients:


ALAN WAKE - The Writer
RED DEAD REDEMPTION - Undead Nightmare
BORDERLANDS - Zombie Island of Dr. Ned
FALLOUT 3 - Broken Steel
MASS EFFECT 2 - Lair of the Shadow Broker

And then I kick something.

NEXT TIME: The Relevant Wife reviews EPIC MICKEY!

Episode 12 or Why This Hawke Will Fly!

FemHawke Vs. ManHawke...Let the battle begin!

Garret Hawke.  Marian Hawke.  These are the names given to your character in BioWare's fantasy epic Dragon Age II.  Above is what they look like.  Don't like them?  Change it!  Because it's a BioWare game, it's all up to you!  Personally, This may be the very first time in which I DON'T change from the default!  I really like the look of Garret.  Hell, I even like the name!  Usually I go for an image that kinda looks like me(except in DA:O where I chose a dwarf noble with a pretty epic beard and facial tats.  Best choice!).  I am so impressed by the design of this character, more so than even Commander Shepard, who I edited to look kinda like me.  The whole game has been rebuilt from the ground up giving it a new look and feel, and yet you will know it is Dragon Age right away.  BioWare staff have been quoted as saying the new DA2 will be: "...bloodier and sexier..."  Not sure exactly what that means, but there is no part of that I didn't like!  On the post below, you can see the extended cinematic trailer.

There will be blood...

"...When you press a button, something epic will happen." - BioWare staff describing the new combat system.  Are you salivating yet?  I sure am!  Especially if we can do that awesome glowy-demon arms-come-out-of-nowhere-and-rips-guy-in-half move!  Plus, there is the distinct possibility of wielding the staff-sword shown in the trailer, all your blood magic and slicing and dicing in one convenient and easy to carry package!  Also make julian fries!

O hai Flemeth!  I wuz in yor haus stealin' yor grimoir!

Q. Will my actions in Dragon Age: Origins make a difference?

A. This is a BioWare game after all!  It wouldn't suprise me too much if what you did in Mass Effect 2 had an impact!  It won't, but that would be awesome.  Maybe they will have another cross-over armor like the Blood Dragon...

You will be able to import your game save right into DA2.  While this story is seperate from DA:O, your actions in the first game will directly impact the world.  Did you kill Flemeth?  What about the Ashes?  Did your Warden survive?  Alistair?  Loghain?  All of this will be weighed in all before you start on your 10 year journey to become the Champion of Kirkwall!  We will cover this game more as we get closer to the launch date in March!

REVIEW:  KINECT SPORTS

This is the first great title for the Microsoft Kinect.  In fact, it blows Wii sports out of the water!  No more worrying about lobbing a controller at the TV.  YOU are the controller!  With six different sports and a more responsive control scheme, Kinect Sports works on every level!  It gets the blood pumping ad the heart rate up!  Play with up to 4 people in party mode or by yourself to become Kinect Sports Champion!

PROS: Easy to play and consistently fun!  High replay value!

Cons: Too many menus.  An option to get rid of the tutorials would be nice.

GRADE: 8.5 and...

Awesomeness Approved!

That's all for this episode!  

NEXT TIME: Games they SHOULD make for Kinect!

Dragon Age 2 Trailer - Destiny Extended

Meet Garret Hawke...