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Thursday, April 21, 2011

Episode 18 or The Cake May Be A Lie, But The Cube Is Forever!

The take-over has past, but I'm sure that's not the last we'll hear from the Relevant Wife!  Welcome to April!  Tons going on in the next month.!  And with the Nintendo 3DS launch behind us, we can now look forward to some AAA titles coming later this year, as well as the mega-system update in May.  Let's get some news!

NEWS:  DUKE NUKEM DELAYED...AGAIN.  Goddammit!  That's all I have to say about that.  I'm just tired of all the delays.  At least they had a sense of humor about the whole thing.  Watching Gearbox President Randy Pitchford freak out was very funny.  Speaking of funny, if you haven't checked out the Aperture Investment videos, open a new tab and check them out NOW!  These ads for PORTAL 2 look so good I agree with Tim Buckley of cad-comic.com when I say "Shut up and take my money!!"  Keep reading for a full review of PORTAL 2.


I was 3rd in line to get one of these bad boys, and I'm glad I did!  This little gaming device has just drawn a line in the sand when it comes to portable gaming.  Not only does it offer 3d graphics without the need for glasses, but offers much, MUCH improved graphics that rival the Wii. Still not stellar graphics, but we are talking portable here.  The 3DS breaths some much needed life into Nintendo's DS line, which seemed to stagnate with really crappy 3rd party games from junk studios like 505, UFO and ZOO studios.  It's the same problem on the Wii.  All these studios who cannot make a good game to save their lives, over populating the shelves with games not worthy enough to use as toilet paper.  And because of this, people miss great games like MADWORD and The CONDUIT.  Shenanigans I say!!

Back on topic...With some great AAA titles like SUPER STREET FIGHTER IV and NINTENDOGS, they slipped a few surprise titles in there like STEEL DIVER, which to my shock was in production for over 5 years!!  I bought both SSF IV and STEEL DIVER and I love them both!  I'll  post reviews for both next time.

The software is somewhat restricted at the moment, as there is not internet browser, shops or much of anything at the moment.  Fret not, however as they are coming, along with Netflix in May via a system update.  The most awesome thing it can do at the moment is the 3D augmented reality games that are included with the system in the form of 6 cards.  One really can't explain this as it must be seen to fully appreciate it.  Go check the 3DS out at a friends place or at a demo station near you.  Then get the credit card out!


"Just when I thought I was out...they pull me back in!"  That's the segue from PORTAL to PORTAL 2.  You again play as Chell, the heroine from the first game.  After killing the sadistic GLaDOS and escaping Aperture Labs, an injured Chell collapses on the surface.  The Ratman(if you haven't played the first game, you have no clue.) finds Chell and with no idea how to treat her injuries, brings her back to Aperture Labs, and places her in a chamber to heal.  After 50 days, she is reawakened for analysis, but put back to sleep.  After ???? days, she is woken up by Wheatly, an AI, but much nicer than GLaDOS.  And thus begins your journey to escape the ruins of Aperture once again.  Over the course of the single player campaign, you will come face to face with GLaDOS again, do more tests, learn the Aperture Science story, see GLaDOS attached to a potato, and new amazing Aperture products!

If you have played this game before, you know exactly how to play.  The controls are easy to master, and the puzzles are amazing!  The graphics are beautiful as you go through ruined test chambers, into the bowels of forgotten Aperture experiments, into new test chambers designed to kill you!

PROS: The addition of co-op is very nice!  The feel of the original game is still there, but it's the right amount of different.  Quite possibly the funniest game I've ever played...right up there with BULLETSTORM.

CONS:  Even though I'm not done with the single player story yet, I see no cake.  But seriously, the single player could be a bit longer...or the price a bit lower.

GRADE: 9.5


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